Climbing Out Of My Hole

Work is a word that means something different to each person. That is because we all have our own work to do. The trick is figuring out what that work is, this takes a willingness to look at oneself, accept what one sees and to do the work! I personally want to work and want to learn from experiences and if my work right now is just getting up in the morning and walking through my life to the best of my current ability I have to accept that. My work right now is just learning how to relate to myself and relate to others in healthier more effective ways.

The difficult part is reconciling my present reality with personal aspirations and interests. What I mean by that is I think I have something of value to offer others, I just have to figure out what it is and learn how to do it. I want to contribute something, I don't want to be a leech. I think I am capable of contributing something. I want to learn and share. There is so much work that needs to be done in the world I am sure there is something I could do or help with, even something that I could support myself monetarily with.

Lately I have been realizing that I have to take a more realistic view of my life and the work that is in front of me. Hearing about how competitive the job market is and how everyone is out to get their's scares me because it makes it seem like there is no way I can catch up. That is definitely the wrong way to think about the situation I am in and that I am sure many others are in as well. I am not above taking any job that would hire me now, I accept the reality that we have to work for money but that doesn't change my desire for meaningful work. What I need is a plan, something realistic that I can work towards.

I have to make a choice and follow through. I don't plan on giving up or dropping out or withdrawing from reality anymore. There is so much to learn, so much work to do and I intend to do my part. Anything in life that is worthwhile takes work and only I can do the work I need to do for myself...duh. I need to start where I am NOW. I am worth the effort.

Owning My Identy

I for one am exhausted by the world we live in. Pulled on from all sides by media, music, image, ideas... I have always been good at ignoring or maybe more accurately put dissociating from this constant bombardment of loaded messages but I still feel swamped over by the insanity of the modern world. Paralyzed in a state of uncomfortable passivity that is no one's responsibility but my own to move from.

I don't know where to turn to find what is real. I don't want to withdraw from the world but I don't know what to do. I don't want to play the status game that is the cultural narrative handed down by advertising.

The options presented by media are unsatisfying but refusal alone has gotten me nowhere. I am tired of mourning the lack of community and instead want to motivate myself to take an active part in building community.

I need to take the initiative to understand myself and take informed action in my life. Advertising cultivates a passive attitude towards life and I think that I have despised it so much that I have bought into indecisive inaction. It takes inner strength to navigate this confusing world we live in. I resolve to strengthen myself, so I can better share who I am with the world and not be swamped by the culture of advertising.

Alternatives To The Norm

Conventionality is a huge driving force in American Culture at large.  The way the majority of Americans continue to live is locked into the cycle of working for someone else and consumerism.